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| since some people think that blogging and the internet is the world...let me explain. I saw things coming and saw that there was no way to stop them, sure I never thought that it would ever be this bad, but things will get better. They have to. Once you've hit the bottom all you can do is go up, or stay there, but that would just be stupid. So I'm trying to look on the bright side of things and ways to fix something before it gets to bad. When I said that I have changed, I meant it. Its not bullshit. I really have. I've changed the way I fix my hair, I wear make-up all the time, I tried sunless tanner and liked it, but stopped using it for different reasons, and I love myself. If my friends, or former friends don't like that then I'm sorry. I love who I am now and I'm content with most of my life. There are always going to be bumps in the road, but thats life. I'm not super upset or emo or anything, I'm trying to be happy and see how this situation can teach me how to live. I'm not mad at anyone, and I understand where each person is coming from. I'm sorry if I've hurt you and it I have done anything wrong. You may not think you need anyone, but you will someday learn that everyone needs someone, its ok to cry, and crying is not a sign of weakness. And you might think that I have given up everything that is important to me and I spend all my time with Keith, and I could say "sure your right" but that would be a lie. Yes I do hand out with Keith a lot, but not only him. Trough him, I have mad many friends, and I'm addicted to hanging out with all of them. And yeah, most of the time I only hang out with them when keith is around, but thats because we all hang out together. I also do things without Keith. I went to Matt's b-day party by myself....well actually I went with Laura, but thats ok! lol. And I helped with the senior prank which was a lot of fun and I made a new friend that way! ha ha! Who knew hyperventilation could help you make new friends! And I didn't give up anything that was important to me. I'm still in color guard and that has basically been my life since freshman year and has been the only thing important to me, until I got my beta fish George. I loved him so much I got another one! lol. His name is Mr. Knight. My little sister is also uber important to me and I hang out with her a lot, and now that my older sister is home, we get to hang out as well. And I haven't given up on one of the most important people in my life, Hannah. I just haven't figured out how to fix the problem yet. And you may get mad, but you've changed too. But I wont give up on you, plus we have to deal with each other the rest of our lives, with our parents and all. lol. I love you lots and your just like a sister to me, which is properly why we can get in such bad fights and still get through it all.
*froggie*
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| I know I've changed. People have told me I changed. I've gained new friends. I've opened up to people. I finally, for a long time, love myself, and find myself beautiful. I lost my very best friend in the world and don't really know what to do with myself. I saw it coming and tried to figure out what I could do to save it. I soon relized, it was past being able to save. We have both changed so much. Our personalities and styles are too far apart. I miss Sarah Hellyer with all my heart. I will always remember you and I hope you have a wonderful life. Just please do me one thing, never forget how much fun and how close we were, Those times are too gerat to let fade away. I'm always 100% here for you if you ever need someone. I will try my hardest to understand. You were the best friend I ever had. (sorry for all that sap! lol) *froggie* | | |
| My first Colorguard practice tonight. It was good, but super exausting. Not as bad as i thought it would be. lol. I'm pretty out of shape though. I'm glad it started again. I've been needing to workout! <(^_^)> Oh and Angela is on rifle! Thats so awesome! I'm a little jelous. I wish I could fo been on rifle my freshamn year! ha ha. Life is Decent for now. Just in one of those moods...Can't figure out whats bothering me...lol *froggie* | | |
| What does sarah b do when she isn't around her friends for a long period of time.....thinks too much. wow...my head hurts from all this thinking. My head goes from one thng to the next. I've thought of so many things. So I went and started watching this movie "Girl Interrupted". I had to stop beucase my family came home and bothered me. Do you hate it wehn your watching a movie or playing a game or reading or taking a much needed nap, and a family member just comes and talks to you. It's like Hello! I'm sleeping! Why don't you ever talk to me when i'm NOT sleeping??? Or....Hi, watching a movie here. Please be quiet!! Its so frustrating. I mean really. Leave me alone. I like being alone. Its nice.... Oh well. *froggie* | | |
| I care too much I obviously do too little I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong And no one will tell me either Oh if they have I'm too stupid to understand I see nothing I feel nothing I am nothing I want my friends back I want my life back I want my old friends to like my one new one I want to help them I want to be happy again I want to do the right thing But I can't.... I'll never be able to either.... And that scares me. *froggie* | | |
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